Have you been doubting your abilities or judgment… Preventing you from taking risks, setting ambitious goals and acting on them? Do you end up not trying because you’re sure you will fail? You know you have skills and talents but you’re fearful of putting yourself out there in a new way. Everyone suffers from confidence issues at one time or another. A lack of self confidence can can impact any aspect of our lives: Career, Relationships, Social, Academic and Body Image.
First, I want to differentiate between lack of self confidence and lack of self esteem. Self confidence is a mindset about your abilities/skills and self esteem is how you feel about yourself. You can be confident in your abilities, but still lack self esteem. Both can stem from an unsupportive household in childhood, being criticized, bullied or judged by peers, teachers, parents or society in some way. Also, be careful of comparing yourself to others, especially on social media. People tend to only show what is great about their lives, not the struggles.
It’s important to surround yourself with people and mentors that lift you up and help you feel positive about yourself, your skills and abilities. Having confidence is believing in yourself and trusting yourself, not about failing or succeeding, it’s about feeling secure with your efforts.
Negative Self Talk & Perfectionism
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to pay attention to what you say to yourself and how you feel when you want to try something new, fail or succeed. Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions…have self awareness! Some of our thoughts and emotions have been ingrained in us for so long that it just feels normal. Pay attention or even write down what you notice and you’ll find the same limiting beliefs pop up over and over again.
Perfectionism is essentially the opposite of self confidence. When you’re self confident you know and accept your strengths and weaknesses and are willing to try things, unworried about failure or success. With perfectionism you feel like you need to know everything before you can do it, or you do it but it’s never quite good enough. It’s unrealistic, causes procrastination and prevents you from taking action and feeling positive. Perfect doesn’t exist.
Practice Self Care
When you get a good night’s rest, eat well, exercise, have a spiritual practice and self awareness, you can feel more confident. Taking care of your body, mind and spirit is a recipe for success!
I like to encourage my clients to journal because it helps get your thoughts and emotions out which builds self awareness and reveals patterns that keep you stuck in limiting beliefs. Here’s a few to get you started:
- What are your strengths? (re-read when feeling challenged)
- Write down things you like about yourself.
- What are your career + life achievements… big or small? (don’t just focus on your mistakes)
- Start a daily practice of your achievements at work
- Negative self-talk: Pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself-write it down. Turn the negative self-talk into a positive affirmation. For example: If you find yourself saying “I can’t do it”… Replace it with “I believe in myself” or “I can do it”
(Try my simple guided meditation Boost Confidence)
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A healing modality I use to help clients is called Bach Flower Therapy. I offer 1:1 sessions, but the Remedies were created as a self help system so anyone can access and use them with ease. The Bach Flower remedy that can be helpful for a lack of self confidence is called Larch.
Don’t know what Bach Flower Remedies are? Watch my 8 minute YouTube video called What Are Bach Flower Remedies?
When you feel confident, you are determined and capable with a balanced sense of self esteem, unworried about failure or success. You are able to take initiative and risks.You know your potential and you own it!
Believing in yourself and feeling determined and capable will help you step out of your comfort zone and achieve your goals and ambitions.
Tips to Boost Self Confidence:
- Practice self care with these tips
- Recognize your strengths and weaknesses
- Surround yourself with supportive people
- Celebrate your achievements big and small
- Filter negative self talk and replace with positive affirmations
- Journal to improve self awareness
- Try the Bach Flower Remedy Larch
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” —Norman Vincent Peale, minister and author
